I have arrived back home from taking care of my mom after surgery for removal of an ulcer. I’ve been gone for sixty days.

She is 90 years young. My brothers and sisters, we were all amazed how well she came through the surgery. Even the doctor told us before the surgery he was concerned she would not make it through alive. She was fine.

Mom’s dad lived to be 104. She always stated that she wanted to live longer than he did. The problem because of the surgery, she has developed complications. With other medical problems she already had, she may never get to go back home. This reality has started to set in and she is having a hard time accepting it.

This has created a problem with her. She has become extremely depressed and has stopped eating. Now she is losing weight. No matter what we do, we cannot get her to eat.

This woman raised six kids and dealt with an alcoholic husband while our dad was alive. Now she is in a position that she cannot control her life. All six of her kids understand how she feels and have tried to support her wishes, but the time has come that we cannot allow her to live at home by herself. She does not understand and has decided that if she cannot live at home she does not want to live.

How do you explain this to a woman who has lived alone for the last twenty years?

Paying attention to what is happening has shown me just how fragile, and fast life can change for us. One minute we can be strong and living life to the fullest and the next unsuspecting disaster happens that tears us down to the point we would rather die. We must constantly be on guard to protect out life and feelings from any outside force that will try to change our inner mind and body in a negative way.

We must always be strong. Always on guard against the negative forces that want to destroy us and drive us unto the evil that lurks in the dark world that none of us can see. This world is always present, waiting to drag us into that space that is always waiting to drag us deeper into depression we may never crawl out of.

I have learned from this experience. Either use it or lose it. My mother did not use it and she has lost it. As she grew older, she did not use her mind properly and therefore she lost the ability to use it properly. Not in the way you think. She can tell you the day and date without a calendar in the room. She can discuss politics with you on any level. She is sharp and can think, but when you talk to her, she is not always there with you in the room.

She does not want to live with any of her children. She knows what her father living with her and my dad did to the family.

Problems like these are only going to become worse with the growing boomer population. I am one of them and do not want to burden my children. This has brought this into full light for me and my brothers and sisters.

Besides this, we have a sister who’s mentally challenged that the doctors told our parents would never live to see the age of forty. She just turned sixty and in great healthy. We will look after her to make sure she’s taken care of.

You can never be prepared for life. Life waits until you think you are and then it says wait, I have a gift for you, and it throws it all at you at once.

Never say you are ready for what life has to throw your way. Just be prepared to accept what comes your way and smile. It will get better.