My wife asked me to go to a birthday party last night. It was for her cousin Nick. He’s one of her favorite cousins, and when he was in the hair business, he did her hair every month.

He’s now happily married and lives across town from us. When I say across town, it’s a good 45 min. drive.

When we arrived, Nick’s wife Sherry greeted us at the door. She welcomed us into her home but seemed surprised we were there. When Nick showed a few minutes later, his comment was, “well I am surprised you even attended my party.” He was talking more to my wife than me.

It was evident by the look on my wife’s face that the comment hurt her feelings. As mentioned earlier, my wife went to Nick religiously to have her hair done when he was a beautician. She attended his wedding. I think she may have even helped with the planning. Helped him move into his new home, and often went to lunch whenever he called and asked. Several times, she has made trips see Nick and his wife in their new home just to visit. The idea that she would not attend his birthday party surprised her. I even think she attended last year’s party.

Sherry mentioned she had food in the kitchen to which we mentioned we had already eaten. She seemed displeased with the response we gave her, turned around, and walked out of the room.

Nick asked my wife what she wanted to drink, and she asked for wine, her usual choice of poison. He advised her that since he did not expect her to attend, and everyone else drank hard liquor he had no wine. At this point being the, “AH” I can be, I asked her if she were ready to leave. She wanted to stay.

Nick disappeared and did not reappear for some time. Understanding that it is his birthday, and he can do as Nick pleases, it does seem to me that he could have confirmed one way or the other. Especially with a friend who has attended many other events in his life, and in the past he seemed to enjoy spending time with. But this night was different. Maybe it was the fact I was there. I don’t play his games.

Friendship is a fickle weenie. We only use it when it suits us. We only desire it when it benefits us. Other times we shove it to the side. We may try to cover up all these reactions and say it ain’t so, but that ain’t so.

Over the years, I have traveled a lot in the good old US of A. I was in the field of Engineering and Construction, building Communication systems around the USA. I have met many people. I have met their families and children. Got to know them and had BBQ and had fun. Called them my friends.

However, later, when they discovered that I couldn’t do anything for them as the years passed by. It was all over. If I am close by on a trip or traveling on vacation, hell, so called friends wouldn’t even have time to say hello. We only use it when it suits us.

We form clicks and shut the rest out. We only want those that qualify or meet our (poor)standards to be our friends. The problem is our standards may not be that convincing when viewed from the other side of the tracks.

It’s as the guy that everyone thinks is the most outstanding man in the neighborhood, church going straight shooter. Only to discover he is part of a large ring of pedophiles. When the police arrests him all you hear is, I never knew, I can’t image, he was such a terrific guy.

I guess we need friends and family to remind us about our enemies.